Today, more than ever, I realized how much faithfulness and trusting the universe is needed in parenthood.
You see, it's Zia's first ever field trip today and before this day came, my mind was a pool of paranoia. All the possible what ifs crossed my mind and convinced me even more to maybe just let her skip the field trip and just have her stay home. But then I thought, if I don't learn to somehow let go, and let loose a little, I might rob my little girl of valuable and fun learning experiences.
So with much apprehension but still in true girl scout mommy form, I prepared her stuff. 3 shirts for changing, 1 pair of leggings, 5 muslin cloths for her back, her mosquito repellent bracelet, her favorite toy car, a small rosary, and more. I made lots of 'bilins' to ate and the husband - please don't keep your eyes off her, check her back, don't forget to put her anti-mosquito bracelet, etc.
After the long process, I had to leave for work. So all that I had left to do was to say a little prayer to the heavens to keep my little girl (and her dad and nanny and the whole field trip group) safe and happy. Every hour I asked for updates whether she's happy, if she's eaten or if she has changed into a fresh shirt. Yup, as annoying as it may seem, it's a true story.
To cut the long story short, I'm now writing this with my sleeping daughter beside me. I bet she's really exhausted from all the fun activities she did today. Looking at the photos and her smiles while doing different things like feeding the guinea pigs, fishing, horse back riding, etc, was enough for me to validate that the decision to let her join the field trip was definitely the right one.
Now that she's safely home with me, I've reconciled with the idea that I just have to trust the universe and I just have to have faith that the Lord will keep my little girl in his warm and safe embrace whenever and wherever she is. And if ever she meets little mishaps here and there, I should accept that it's part of normal life and it will make her stronger and it will build her character. And lastly, I am now at peace with the idea that my role as her mom is not to keep her to myself, but to encourage her to learn and discover new things and experience all the nice things life has in store for her.