On learning to be a (good) mom everyday

So it's exam week for my firstborn and yet again, I am doubting myself as a mom. You see, I've always had good study habits ever since I could remember, I've always brought home good grades, so I get really puzzled when my 5 year old struggles with school -- well, not actually school as a whole, just 1 subject, READING. We were reviewing the whole of the weekend and sometimes, out of frustration and desperation, I find myself being the worst version of me, I make my daughter cry. I wanted to cry with her, but I chose to just step back and have someone else review her first.

This feeling of self doubt and frustration is a cycle which happens every exam time and I am now making a conscious effort to be better. I have come to accept that my child is different from who I was when I was young, therefore, I will be more patient, no more threats that this or that will happen if she doesn't do well in school (yes, I am guilty of that), instead, when frustration is near, I will think of the multitude of things my daughter is good at. She is sweet, kind, very energetic, good in math and Christian Living, she loves singing, she loves coloring rainbows and rainbow colored unicorns, among others, but most importantly, she is a gift, MY gift.

I read mommy blogs often and most of them blog about their children's high grades and extraordinary talent, so here I am blogging about my daughter, yes, her grades may not be as stellar (yet), but she is as wonderful as can be and she's a happy child. And I have high hopes that my and her dad's smart genes will kick-in when she's older. Haha. I guess the world around us has put so much pressure on getting good grades, me included, but now I know better. No more pressure, on me or on my daughter. I will still try my best to push her to do her best, at her own pace, without anger or impatience, but only with so much love and pride.

My child is great, good grades or not, she is kind and a beautiful little person and my dream as a mom is for her to grow up to have a good heart and be smart enough to know right from wrong, to know that learning is constant and that possibilities are endless if your heart is in it and you have hope and faith.

To my Zia, please forgive mommy for being hard on you, I promise I will be better. Thank you for teaching me how to be a mom and please know that in times that I lose my patience, I will always love you, in times that we are goofing around and just having fun, I will always love you.

To other moms just like me who doubt themselves from time to time, it will be fine, our kids are amazing and very forgiving. Say 'sorry', but say 'I love you' more often.

2016 in a nutshell

Many have been said about how 2016 was not a good year and in many ways it was really a challenging year for me and I'm sure a lot of people will agree with me too. But despite all the issues and challenges faced, as always, I choose to be grateful.

Image not mine - from etsy.com 

2016 also had its share of highs for me:

> Joined a new team and had the opportunity to train 2 wonderful young ladies
> Work brought me to different places - Vienna, Singapore and Osaka
> Got to style 3 baptisms (Dainty Girly, Monkey Prince, Stork Express), a birthday party (Unicorn Princess) and a Christmas Party (Red & Green Chic)
> Wrote my first children's book manuscript
> Explored Osaka on my own for 4 days
> Started plans for our home renovation
> Got the hang of being a mom of 2
> First long drive (4 hours) to Subic
> Had my hair cut to its shortest EVER
> Visited the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in USJ
> Did 2 bazaar runs with Babypalooza
> My family and friends

I'm sure there are lots more and for all those above and those in between, I will forever be thankful and grateful.

Here's praying that 2017 will be a great year for all of us. :)

Thank you 2016. 2017, we have high hopes!

I will always go back to this

Writing is actually one of my first loves - I remember having a poem notebook and writing a lot of them when I was in high school and college. And no matter how busy I get from juggling corporate life, home life and being wife and mommy to my 2 girls (now 5 and 2) - which makes my last post almost a year ago already - I will always always go back to writing. And I have so much to look forward to in the future, which I look forward to sharing with you in my blog real soon. 

Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/197454764884553929/

Yup, things are looking bright. Have a great December everyone. Will be back real soon! :)

[zei the MOM] My 2nd princess is ONE!

 

Just like that, our 2nd baby girl is now one. I couldn't be more thankful for the beautiful year that has past. To our dearest Rio, thank you for being such a wonderful source of sunshine - your smile (that's almost always on) keeps everyone of us going. The sparkle in your eye when you laugh give me comfort knowing that your disposition is as bright as the future we hope for you and your sister. We didn't really know how life would be with 2 little girls in the family, but today more than ever, I know that I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

 

I want to say thank you for being the good baby you are, though I'm starting to think that you'll make a really malikot toddler, but I look forward to it because I know it will be so much fun. I want you to know on your 1st birthday that you are such a great blessing in our lives and me, your dad and your Ate Zia are very lucky to have you.

 

I pray that you grow to be a kind-hearted, God-fearing, healthy and happy little girl. For the rest of your lovely life, we will always be by your side. We love you Rio! Happy happy 1st birthday!

[zei the MOM] Now you are 4

As you turn 4, I want you to know all these things...

My dearest Zia,

Let me start this letter by saying I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU forever. Thank you for being a joy and blessing to our lives, for being the great kid you are even when I sometimes lose my patience and forget that you are still too young. You're growing to be such a wonderful young lady and I can't wait to create more memories with you, your dad and your little sister. Continue to be the happy and bright little lady that you are, playful and always curious about anything and everything. I want you to know that these are things you like at 4:

- Horses and Unicorns (still)
- Playing pretend and saying 'it's just pretend
- Watching Spongebob and Rabbids (which I actually don't like for you to watch)
- Riding the carousel and train (still)
- Playing in the big slide
- Riding in the car
- Watching Frozen in mommy's and daddy's room with the aircon on
- Saying stuff like awesome, gorgeous, amazing
- Playing with Rio in her playpen
- Coloring
- Giving mommy pretend letters
- Easter eggs (a.k.a. Kinder Surprise)

Thank you for the everyday joy you bring for just being the little sprite that you are. You have a beautiful spirit my love and I pray everyday for you to grow into a kind, loving and God-fearing girl. We will always be here for you. Happy happy birthday sweetheart, keep on sparkling. :)

Love,
Mommy

[zei on Career & Passion] Once-in-a-blue-moon blogger

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaannd I'm back!

 

So it's 2015, actually, it's already the 2nd half of 2015 and here I am attempting again to blog as much as I can. As I've read from my favorite blogs, blogging should really be a commitment - it's quite a hard one to keep at that. But it makes me happy, so go lang kapag kaya diba?

 

Anyway, it's August and I love this month for many reasons.

1) It's Zia's birthday month

2) It's my and my husband's couple anniversary - 12 years this year (Ang bilis!)

3) It's the month before the -ber months - which means next month, department stores around the metro will start bringing out their Christmas merchandise!

4) I like the look of the number 8 - just like an infinity symbol

 

Really hope that I'll be able to blog more often now and moving forward. Also, aside from my blogging, I am also determined to pursue my passion for event styling (on the side), so for lovely inspirations for your home or for your special event, please follow @lifestylewithlove on Instagram. :)

 

On a side note, the past months have been quite busy and I realized that despite the amount of time you spend working on deliverables, taking care of your kids, running a household and many more, you should really find time to do the things that you are passionate about and also spend more time with the people you love. Because it will keep you sane and ultimately happy. So yes, that's actually why I'm blogging again.

 

Hopefully I won't be a once-in-a-blue-moon blogger anymore. :) So please come back regularly for posts about being a mommy, a working mom, family life, shopping and everything happy in between. :)

[zei the MOM] Rio's birth story

Things don't always go as planned and Everything happens for a reason -- these are the two sayings that could sum up our second daughter's birth story.

Let me take you back a month ago. I was looking forward to experiencing the convenience of a scheduled CS, going to the hospital without pain (just a bit of anxiety) and knowing what time I will be operated on, etc. So as planned, we checked in the hospital the night before my scheduled CS. It was October 9. We arrived at our room around past 9 in the evening and I remember wondering why we had to be in the hospital already. It was my OBs protocol I supposed. After an hour of lingering, also based on SOP, I was whisked away to the Labor and Delivery Room for some monitoring they needed to report to my OB. So I left the husband in our room and told him I'd be back after an hour or so. Or so I thought. So they strapped me with the baby monitor and they monitored away. The resident in charge said that they had to continue monitoring the baby and they had to give me oxygen since the baby's movement wasn't as active as they hoped given her gestational age. And because they observed some decelerations in baby's heart rate, they made a call to my OB. After some hushed discussions, the resident gave the cellphone to me with my OB on the other line. "I need to open you up today, you baby's heart rate is not as active as we hoped," she said. All I could say was "Okay po", I actually wanted to cry because anxiety got the best of me and I was fervently praying that nothing is wrong with the baby. So after that, a group of residents and nurses preped me for the emergency C-section. It was October 9, a few hours shy of the scheduled CS I prepared myself for. Yup, things don't really go as planned. I gave birth at 11:44 PM via CS to our baby girl and fortunately for us, our doctors were great and they made a good call, as our baby came out cord coiled, which explained her inactivity when they were monitoring me. Had we waited for my scheduled CS, she could have been cord coiled  even more and could have run out oxygen. So yes, everything happens for a reason -- we were asked to go to the hospital earlier to make sure our baby will come out okay. We were really blessed and the Lord was with our doctors when they made the call to operate on me earlier. So to the doctors, nurses and other people instrumental to the birth of our baby girl, thank you. And to the Lord, You really are the master planner of our lives, thank you.  

 

Today, a month after, our baby girl is healthy and strong and big for her age and I can't help but be grateful for the turn of events and how the Lord was faithful to us and He made sure that, though unplanned, things turned out for the best.