Sunday, November 9, 2014

[zei the MOM] Rio's birth story

Things don't always go as planned and Everything happens for a reason -- these are the two sayings that could sum up our second daughter's birth story.

Let me take you back a month ago. I was looking forward to experiencing the convenience of a scheduled CS, going to the hospital without pain (just a bit of anxiety) and knowing what time I will be operated on, etc. So as planned, we checked in the hospital the night before my scheduled CS. It was October 9. We arrived at our room around past 9 in the evening and I remember wondering why we had to be in the hospital already. It was my OBs protocol I supposed. After an hour of lingering, also based on SOP, I was whisked away to the Labor and Delivery Room for some monitoring they needed to report to my OB. So I left the husband in our room and told him I'd be back after an hour or so. Or so I thought. So they strapped me with the baby monitor and they monitored away. The resident in charge said that they had to continue monitoring the baby and they had to give me oxygen since the baby's movement wasn't as active as they hoped given her gestational age. And because they observed some decelerations in baby's heart rate, they made a call to my OB. After some hushed discussions, the resident gave the cellphone to me with my OB on the other line. "I need to open you up today, you baby's heart rate is not as active as we hoped," she said. All I could say was "Okay po", I actually wanted to cry because anxiety got the best of me and I was fervently praying that nothing is wrong with the baby. So after that, a group of residents and nurses preped me for the emergency C-section. It was October 9, a few hours shy of the scheduled CS I prepared myself for. Yup, things don't really go as planned. I gave birth at 11:44 PM via CS to our baby girl and fortunately for us, our doctors were great and they made a good call, as our baby came out cord coiled, which explained her inactivity when they were monitoring me. Had we waited for my scheduled CS, she could have been cord coiled  even more and could have run out oxygen. So yes, everything happens for a reason -- we were asked to go to the hospital earlier to make sure our baby will come out okay. We were really blessed and the Lord was with our doctors when they made the call to operate on me earlier. So to the doctors, nurses and other people instrumental to the birth of our baby girl, thank you. And to the Lord, You really are the master planner of our lives, thank you.  
Today, a month after, our baby girl is healthy and strong and big for her age and I can't help but be grateful for the turn of events and how the Lord was faithful to us and He made sure that, though unplanned, things turned out for the best.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

[zei the MOM] Random ramblings

It's 3AM and I am nowhere near being sleepy again, so here I am yet again, recording my thoughts on motherhood mostly, because in exactly 5 days, I will be a mom of 2 girls and I don't really know what it will be like, but I'm pretty sure it will be different from what I know of motherhood now.
I'm glad I get to take a leave from work before I give birth so I could spend as much time with Zia as I can before her little sister arrives, but I'm also sad that I can't play too much with her because of my 37/38 week belly. Anyway, spending time with Zia got me thinking of how life will be with 2 kids. I read an article shared by a friend that the second child really gets less than what was given to the first child - and they say it as if it's a fact. But I refuse to accept it as early as now. So now that I still have the time to devote equal time to my daughters, I shall write about both of them (in the utero), so at least I also have a digital record of it since I haven't even really worked on Zia's baby book, so I don't think Rio's will be any different this time around.
My memories of Zia in the utero...
- I called her sweet pea because I knew from the start that she would be a girl
- I prayed for her every day at work when I had some quiet time
- I had morning sickness for the 1st trimester only
- She was an active baby but in a gentler way
- I read Dr. Seuss' 'Oh the places you will go' to her mostly at night
- Smooth sailing pregnancy
- I was fuller
- I craved a lot of cheese
- I had a smaller baby bump
- Born via emergency CS
My memories of Rio in the utero...
- I call her baby girl
- I prayed the same prayer as with Zia every day at work when I had some quiet time
- My morning sickness lasted until my 5th month
- She's a very active baby, with bigger more forceful moves
- I played Ode to joy to her using a music box
- I was a bit more sickly the 2nd time around
- Didn't gain that much weight but my belly is really really huge and I am carrying low
- I crave for cheese and chocolate
- To be born via scheduled CS
These are just to name a few, but you see the significant differences. So I'm feeling that my husband and I are really in for a different ride this time around. But we're all looking forward to meeting our 2nd darling daughter. If she happens to be similar to how her ate was when she was a baby then that would be great, if not, then that would be great too. :) At the end of the day, my only hope is for my two girls to grow up loving each other the way only sisters can.
It's exactly 3:40 AM and the husband and daughter are fast asleep beside me. In the coming weeks, I'd probably still be awake at this hour, but not because I'm writing, but because I'll probably be busy with the newest addition to our family. Oh, I can't wait. :)
Have a blessed Sunday!

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

[zei the MOM] On faith and trusting the universe

Today, more than ever, I realized how much faithfulness and trusting the universe is needed in parenthood.
You see, it's Zia's first ever field trip today and before this day came, my mind was a pool of paranoia. All the possible what ifs crossed my mind and convinced me even more to maybe just let her skip the field trip and just have her stay home. But then I thought, if I don't learn to somehow let go, and let loose a little, I might rob my little girl of valuable and fun learning experiences.
So with much apprehension but still in true girl scout mommy form, I prepared her stuff. 3 shirts for changing, 1 pair of leggings, 5 muslin cloths for her back, her mosquito repellent bracelet, her favorite toy car, a small rosary, and more. I made lots of 'bilins' to ate and the husband - please don't keep your eyes off her, check her back, don't forget to put her anti-mosquito bracelet, etc.
After the long process, I had to leave for work. So all that I had left to do was to say a little prayer to the heavens to keep my little girl (and her dad and nanny and the whole field trip group) safe and happy. Every hour I asked for updates whether she's happy, if she's eaten or if she has changed into a fresh shirt. Yup, as annoying as it may seem, it's a true story.
To cut the long story short, I'm now writing this with my sleeping daughter beside me. I bet she's really exhausted from all the fun activities she did today. Looking at the photos and her smiles while doing different things like feeding the guinea pigs, fishing, horse back riding, etc, was enough for me to validate that the decision to let her join the field trip was definitely the right one.
Now that she's safely home with me, I've reconciled with the idea that I just have to trust the universe and I just have to have faith that the Lord will keep my little girl in his warm and safe embrace whenever and wherever she is. And if ever she meets little mishaps here and there, I should accept that it's part of normal life and it will make her stronger and it will build her character. And lastly, I am now at peace with the idea that my role as her mom is not to keep her to myself, but to encourage her to learn and discover new things and experience all the nice things life has in store for her.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

[zei the Charmed One] Has it really been 4 years?

I'm writing this 2 days early since I'm maximizing all my awake hours from this pregnancy-related insomnia. Most of my posts are about being a mom, but first and foremost, I am a wife. And on the 25th, I will be for 4 years to be exact. So this post is dedicated to my main man, my husband of 4 years. :)
First, I want to say THANK YOU, for the wonderful 4 years. I know it hasn't been free of the hiccups here and there, but including all those, it's really been wonderful. I love our life, you, me, zia and our coming baby girl rio; and I have you to thank for that. Thank you for the patience, for adoring zia, for taking care of our family and for simply being you.
Second, I want to say SORRY. I'm sorry for the times I've been more mommy to zia than wife to you, I think it comes with having young children talaga. I promise I'll make it up to you when our two girls are above 5. Haha. Kidding. Will try my best to be conscious of it and make sure you'll still feel very much prioritized. I'm sorry for the times we argue, but do know in my heart of hearts that even when we argue, I will forever trust, love and respect you.
Lastly, I want to say I LOVE YOU. Yup, no explanation needed. Just I LOVE YOU.
Happy 4th anniversary love! 4 years has gone by so fast, we've built a beautiful home and we're soon gonna be a family of four. We are beyond blessed! Looking forward to next 50 or so years with you and our girls. <3 p="">

Friday, September 19, 2014

[zei the MOM] Thoughts on being a mom of 2 girls

35 weeks into my second pregnancy today and my mind is still all mush. Our bags are packed, documents almost complete, but the baby's crib and other stuff haven't been set up. But more than the logistics, I'm having mixed feelings about being a 'new' mom again. So allow me to indulge you with my thoughts.
I'm excited to meet our new baby and see how different she will be from her big sister, but then I'm afraid that I might make the mistake of comparing my experience with our second child to our firstborn. I'm happy that Zia will have a sister since she seems excited, but I'm also scared to have my time divided between 2 wonderful little girls. So yes, my mind is filled with contradictions now, but I'm praying that just like other super moms who have more than 1 kid, I'll be able to wing this.
I read an article stating a study that the happiest households are the ones with 2 children that are girls -- I sure hope that's true. I'm just so afraid I won't be able to give the same amount of love to both my daughters consistently. I'm rambling, I know. That's how unsure I am on how things will turn out. But as preparation, I've already asked the husband to promise to pay attention to our darling firstborn during the first few months of our 2nd daughter and make sure she won't feel in any way neglected.
To my dear Zia, my greatest blessing and our firstborn, I want you to know that my love for you is unconditional and each and everyday my heart is bursting with love for you. You'll be a big sister real soon and I want you to know that mommy will try her very best to be there for you, but there might be times I'll have to tend to your little sister first. But please know that it doesn't mean I love you less.
To my Rio, our second child, we can't wait to meet you and we hope and pray that you will feel very much loved and taken cared of the moment you arrive. I promise that you won't ever feel any less loved and favored ever.
So here's a prayer to the heavens that my husband and I will be given the grace to give equal love and care to both of our daughters all the days of their lives.
To the moms of two kids and more, you are my inspirations and judging from the smiles I see when I google family of 4 with 2 girls, I am comforted by the fact that I am blessed enough to have the same happiness having 2 daughters could bring.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

[zei the MOM] To our Dearest first born

To our dear Zia,

Three years ago today we were given the best blessing - we were given you! Every second since the day you were born, my heart overflows with joy and gratitude for how much you have enriched our lives. On your third birthday I pray that the Lord will always keep you safe, happy, strong and filled with love for all who are and that is around you.

You are growing up to be such a sweet little character and mommy cannot wait to get to know you more. :) I hope you enjoy your birthday today sweetheart, because you really are a gem that deserves nothing less than a special celebration. Thank you for always making mommy and daddy happy and for constantly teaching us to be the best parents we could be. We love you baby girl. :) Happy happy 3rd birthday!

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

[zei the MOM] Round 2!

I think my need for blogging is heightened by pregnancy, that's why I'm back, albeit indefinitely. Anyway, baby #2 is 25 weeks so we'll be saying hello to the last trimester in a couple of weeks. My mind is actually all over so I need to blog to iron out my thoughts. For some reason, I felt more prepared in my first pregnancy in terms of all the 'welcoming a newborn preps' versus this one, so now that we're down to our last 10 weekends before our due date, I've decided to list down the things I have to accomplish. I guess having an almost 3-year old while expecting a newborn makes things more complicated, a happy kind of complexity, that is.  

July wk 3 - Finish construction of Zia's playroom (I need to finish this since I need to make sure Zia    and Ate have a nice a comfy place to hang out in while the baby stays in Zia's room)

July wk 4 - Have scheduled Congenital Anomaly Scan done and shop for newborn essentials (told myself to shop within July since the SM Baby Sale ends in July 31.)

August wk 1 - No plans for this weekend yet, so I guess it's a good day to get some rest :)

August wk 2 - Prepare for Zia's 3rd bday; finalize who new OB will be (my old OB isn't accredited by my HMO)

August wk 3 - Zia's bday weekend so focus will be on the DD

August wk 4 - Reorganize nursery to accommodate the baby and Ate Zia in case she wants to hang out with the baby

Sept. wk 1 - Fix all maternity leave documents for work

Sept. wk 2 - Renew license before my bday

Sept. wk 3 - Wash all clothes and linens; my bday weekend

Sept. wk 4 - Prepare all docs for hospital delivery; hubs' bday weekend

Hope I could stick to my schedule so I will have the 1st and 2nd week of October to rest before my scheduled CS and mentally and physically prepare for our coming 2nd sweet hope. :)
Looking forward to a new mommy adventure with my two darling daughters. :) 

Monday, June 16, 2014

[zei the MOM] An open letter to my daughter on her first day of pre-school

My Dearest Zia,

Today is a big day for you, it's your first day in Pre-school. :) I think Mommy's too excited as here I am, wide awake at half past 2 in the morning just to write to you. I know you're still a baby, and that we could have kept you in the house for another year or two given the new K-12 curriculum, but Dad and I think that you will learn so much more and meet new friends if we sent you to school this early.

Just like in your first ballet recital last week, I know, this will just be the start of the many times you will make your dad and I proud of you. You are such as smart and funny little girl, though we hope you won't be as 'malikot' so your teachers won't have a hard time. Haha. I pray that you make a lot of new little friends in your Pre-K class, and more than mastering all shapes, colors and numbers, I pray in my heart of hearts that you will learn more than those in school - like the value of being kind to others, making friends and discovering the joys of learning new things.

Mommy can't send you off on your first day because of work, but I want you to know (and I am documenting it), that I will make sure everything you'll need on your first day is prepared even before you wake up, also to give Ate and your dad an easier time. I will be there in your heart baby girl, praying that all will go well on your first day and the rest of the school year. I'll try to bring you to school one of these days when my schedule permits, my love. :) But here's a promise, that on your first day in BIG school (wherever or whenever that may be), mommy will definitely be there.

I know you'll look absolutely adorable in your school uniform and I can't wait to see your pics (which I carefully instructed your daddy to take). Smile for the camera please. :)

Before you become independent and all that, I want you to know that Mommy or Daddy really won't mind being needed by you anytime. You're just months shy from being three and you have made us so proud of you already for the wonderful little girl you already are and are shaping to become. Everyday I thank the Lord for blessing us with you.

To my first born, my little sweetheart, I love you and I can't wait for you to show the world and others how wonderful you are. Enjoy learning new things little girl and here's an assurance that mommy and daddy will always look forward to listening to the new things you will learn from here on.

Love always,